The Dating Couple

According to most men, I’m the luckiest guy on earth. My significant other is a bisexual, a true bisexual. She and I share women, have threesomes and do all of the things guys are supposed to do with their bisexual girlfriends. She lets me share, watch and even have fun on my own if she knows and trusts the girl.

However, life with a bisexual is no porn novel. At times it isn’t even easy. It’s not something that gets switched on every weekend and turned off on Monday morning. It’s an every day thing, something to live with 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Most of the guys out there dreaming about dating a bi girl probably need a cold shower. The threesome fantasy is fine and good, but living with and loving one is often times a whole other matter.

It Ain’t Easy Being Lucky

Sure, dating a bisexual girl has its perks, but the vast majority of the time it is like any other relationship out there. Just the two of you. Most of the sex is still the good old-fashioned one-on-one kind and, unless you have a live-in steady girlfriend, which is our eventual goal, you don’t get two women every night, or even most nights.

You do, however, have to live with, satisfy and spend a lot of time with this woman. It’s easy if you love each other, but consider the following caveats.

• You’re Never Enough: No matter how good of a lover you are, no matter how compassionate you are to her needs, no matter the physical attributes you possess, you will never, ever be able to meet all of her sexual needs. It’s tough going to sleep, even after great sex, knowing that and it kept me awake many nights after she accepted her bisexuality.
• She Gets More Girls: Want to feel like less of a man in a hurry? Watch what happens when your girlfriend gets more pussy than you.
• The Friend Factor: It’s bad enough having a cute girlfriend, but a cute bisexual one really gets the attention of your friends and coworkers. Friends that never would sleep with your girlfriend or wife might reevaluate your friendship once they realize she’s the type of woman they’ve only read about. I’m grateful that Crystal is both very trustworthy and almost completely lesbian.
  
• Talking About Feelings: Most men, it seems, don’t like talking about their feelings. If that’s so then this is the exact wrong relationship for them. Making this work requires almost constantly talking to one another about hopes, dreams, comfort levels, desires and fantasies. It requires listening to uncomfortable ideas, knowing when to say “no” and how to understand both your own emotions and your partner’s signals. Over the course of the relationship, we’ve probably spent more time “talking” than “doing”.
• Religious Nuts and Homophobes: It is strange, but most people don’t consider lesbianism to be “gay”. Still, plenty of people are not going to be happy that your girlfriend plays with boobs. You have to be careful who you tell, you never know who is harboring anti-lesbian tendencies.
• The Parents: Typically it’s bad form to bring both of your girlfriends to Thanksgiving dinner. Unless your parents are themselves gay, polyamorous or libertarians, they are at least going to have concerns about this lifestyle. I was raised in a liberal, secular household but it took my parents years to accept Crystal after I told them.
• Feeling Perpetually Single: How else can two people who love each other and have been together for seven years still call themselves single? Though we are happy with our relationship and don’t need a third to feel complete, when you don’t have one and are looking, even passively, part of you still feels rejected and unwanted. It’s like being single again, only it’s infinitely more difficult to find someone to love both of you than just one of you.

All in all, it’s a pretty tough path to go down. Nearly every couple I’ve seen attempt this lifestyle has broken up and there are good reasons for that.

If you don’t love one another, trust one another and feel complete together, it isn’t going to work. It’s a freeing experience that chucks convention out the window, but it is still surrounded by rules and boundaries.

The Bottom Line

Personally, I wouldn’t trade my lifestyle in for anything in the world. I am betrothed to the most wonderful woman I’ve met, we have a lot of fun and, when we do have a girlfriend, we have a lot of fun with her as well. The sex is great, both one-on-one and beyond, we have a good time whenever we are together and we’re able to do things that other couples only dream of.

Still, it hasn’t been easy. It takes a special kind of relationship to make this work. The connection, trust and love have to be nearly impeccable. Even then, it’s often an uphill battle.

All I’m saying is that, before you jump into it, consider the consequences and repercussions. In short, put down the pornos and really think about what it means beyond the bedroom. The picture isn’t all roses.