The Dating Couple

Crystal and I have been in dozens of strip clubs spread out over four different states. We’ve had so many good times it’s hard to pin down one or two incidents that really stand out.

We’ve also met countless interesting and beautiful women. College students, mothers, military wives, history buffs, philosophers even college professors who make some, or all, of their money dancing in the clubs. The conversations have always been as much, if not more, of a highlight than the dances.

Still, there have been a few moments in the clubs that were entertaining for completely different reasons. Accidents, mishaps and practical jokes kept the mood light when people like me seem to be perpetually in danger of being morbidly serious.

Here are just a few examples of intentionl and unintentional strip club comedy we’ve encountered over the years.

• We went to a very small club in Key West, FL. The club was basically just a long, thin stage down the middle with chairs around it. The stage was, in reality, far too narrow for the girls to work on (probably around four feet wide). When one of the dancers was getting a tip from the person across the stage from me, she spun around and clocked me clean across the side of my head with her platform shoes. I recovered quickly, before Crystal could stop laughing, and even gave her a nice tip to show that there were no hard feelings.
• At a large club in North Carolina, we were sitting out in the audience enjoying the show. One of the dancers caught a look at me with my long hair and apparent backlighting from the stage lights and exclaimed for all to hear “Oh my God! It’s Jesus!”
• Here in New Orleans, I gave a girl a tip at the stage. She told me to put the bill in my teeth, I complied and she squeezed her breasts around my face, taking the bill into her cleavage and giving me a very nice brush of her very soft and curvey breasts. She sat back, still holding the bill in her cleavage and said, “Try to get it back if you can.” I reach up and tugged on the bottom of the bill, despite my best efforts it would not budge. She smiled, giggled and said “Mine!” Needless to say, we got a private dance from her later that night.
• In a club near Columbia, S.C., we were sitting with one of the dancers on a very slow night when she decided to tip the girl on stage. The dancer on stage was laid down at the base of the pole, the one we were sitting with got up and used her teeth to lay the dollar between the girl on stage’s breasts. As she slid back down to rejoin us, she stopped at her stomach and gave her a huge raspberry, practically causing her to jump up the pole.
• Finally, after getting our last private dance of the night at our favorite New Orleans club, Crystal and the dancer started talking about mardi gras beads. She then showed her one of our penis beads, which Crystal keeps in her purse to ply naive tourists on Bourbon St. The dancer wanted it desperately and after “earning” it discovered that it was also a squeaky bead. She then proceeded to tear through the club squeaking this imitation dong as if it were a cat toy, jumping up and down and giggling loudly. As we left the club, I felt the need to stop by all of the other employees and apologize profusely for giving that to her. Even as we walked out the door five to ten minutes later, we could still hear the perpetual “sueaka squeaka squeaka” of the beed. On the upside, it was a lot of fun to watch her jump up and down while holding it between her boobs.

All in all, there have been so many great memories of our trips to strip clubs that it was hard to pick just five. I could probably make another post just out of the times I left out.

Perhaps I will some day.

The bottom line though is that, when you go to a strip club, go there to enjoy yourself. You’re there for the sexy fun but don’t forget to laugh at the comedy too. A little good humor is inevitable.

Got any stories of your own? Feel free to leave a comment or shoot us an email!