The Dating Couple

My fellow men, we need to talk. There’s been an elephant in the room for far too long. For decades now women have, justifiably, been talking about how societal pressures have made them feel insecure and driven them to often insane lengths. It’s a real problem and it needs to be addressed.

However, as men, we’re not all that different. We see pictures of Chippendale dancers and feel that twinge of inadequacy. Sure, we put on a brave face, but we notice the pudges, blemishes and stray hairs the same as women. We diet, exercise, buy protein shakes and generally do whatever it takes to get that “ideal” body. Manorexia is becoming more common and whole stores are dedicated to us getting in shape, whatever that really is.

For me, the insecurity is the lack of weight. At 6′0 and 165, I’m a very thin person. I find it impossible to build muscle, no matter how much I work out, and it reminds me of the nerd I was in high school, no matter how much I’ve changed in other ways. For other men, it is the beer gut or the hairy back and the list goes on and on of male insecurities.

But the worst area for many deals with something more intimate. The penis. Years of watching porn stars with monster dongs have skewed our perception about our dicks and the size they’re supposed to be. You’ll be hard pressed to find a guy that hasn’t looked at their member and not wished it to be at least a little bit bigger. Even I’ll admit to that.

What do we do? We stock up Enzyte, go through surgery, buy pumps and inject ourselves with gel. If it sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the same type of things women do in their quest to become more attractive and it has to stop, on both sides.

The reason is that most of what we’ve been fed about penis size is pure bullshit and I’m pretty sure that, if you ask your girlfriend or wife she’ll agree.

A Little Game

When Crystal and I were first dating, we played a game. She stroked, sucked and teased me until she got me as hard as she could, then she grabbed a tape measure to see how big it was. The measurement came out to about 8.5 inches, a nice size, but not the biggest to be certain.

Studies tell me that I should be happy with my length, that it is at least above average. However, growing up I was very insecure about my size. I’m what some would call a “grower”. Because of this, it was hard for me to see myself as being sexually worthy.

That insecurity continued right into college when I met my ex before Crystal. After seeing myself at attention on cam, she commented that it looked “huge”. I was thrown off by the comment and just assumed I had small hands or that the perspective was off.

However, when she reiterated the comment after meeting me face to face, I put a little more stock into it. After all, she was not someone unfamiliar with other men.When she didn’t recant the comment during our messy break up, during which time she took back nearly every other nice thing she said about me, it gained still a little more weight.

But even today it’s hard for me to accept that I’m even average in that regard, much less good. As men we have it beat into our heads that if we don’t have donkey dicks that we’re not real men. Though I’ve never received a complaint about my size, length or width, it is still a source of worry.

The problem is that all of this obsession over penis size is a crock. Like DD breasts on size zero women, it’s just an unrealistic expectation almost no one can meet.

Listen to the Nice Porn Star

What’s so funny about this obsession is the simple fact that, on most women, you can reach the G-spot with your finger. So take a look at your finger and realize that, if your penis is larger than that, you can at least reach the target. More might be better and make it easier, but you’re at least physically capable of hitting the getting there.

If you don’t believe me, listen to what my favorite adult film star Asia Carrera has to say on the subject:

Some of the guys do have monster weenies, but most of them are around 6-7 inches. It’s more important to have a reliable dick than a big one, as proven by Randy West. I personally hate big dicks, and I won’t work with anyone 8 or more inches if I can help it. Most of the girls in our business agree, when shooting a long sex scene or more than one scene in a day, smaller is definitely better! You can reach my G-spot just fine with your finger, so anything else is redundant!

If anyone knows dick about, well, dick, it would be her. Not only is she an adult film actress, but she also climaxes vaginally. If she’s not the gospel on this, I don’t know who would be.

Of course, science is also on our side. A recent study found that a whopping 85% of women are “very satisfied” with their partner’s size. Also, for the women, the same study found that the majority of men are happy with their partner’s breasts. It seems that men are the only ones complaining about their penis size, with 45% wishing for a larger member.

It’s pretty obvious that someone has fed us a load of bull crap and we’ve been swallowing it wholesale for a long time.

So What is Average?

Getting a straight answer on what is the average penis size isn’t easy. Scientific studies seem to find that the average erect penis is a little bit over 5 inches while more informal, and self-measured, ones seem to say a little bit over 6. The consensus seems to be somewhere between 5.5-6.5 inches is “average”.

Of course, even that isn’t a fair standard. Not all erections are created equal and one’s own penis can vary in length from act to act. A guy that’s six inches during a “normal” romp might be considerably larger during a particularly hot and heavy one later on.

Furthermore, it completely discounts girth, which is much trickier to measure, but according to women, is more important. It’s also something that’s not as easily modified by surgery, pumps or pills.

Clearly none of this penis size obsession has to do with what women want. They seem happy with us as we are and, if they do have a complaint, it’s likely not with the length. The bottom line is that, as men, we’ve been snowed.

So What Do Women Want?

Over the years I’ve been conducting something of an informal survey of what women want in terms of size (or at least length). Every time I’ve gotten comfortable enough with a woman to ask, but before they see or hear about mine, I ask what they think is best.

Some simply didn’t care as long as they can find it. Those who answered usually gave it in the form of a range, 5-7 and 6-8 being the most common replies. Most agreed that below 4 was probably too small and that much above 8 was possibly too much. Some women skewed bigger, wanting 7-10, and others went smaller, in the 4-6 range, but the average seems, quite coincidentally, to mirror the averages the studies have come up with.

This means two things, first most guys fall neatly within the range of what women want. Most men have nothing at all to worry about. Second, after years of worrying about being too small, most of the women I questioned (the vast majority of which I have never slept with) were telling me that theoretically I was too big for their tastes.

The reason is that the donkey dongs every guy seems to want do more harm than good. They have a difficult time getting and staying hard and can actually hurt the women they go into. Several women had horror stories about being bruised or in pain during sex with a particularly large man.

Porn lied to us (big surprise, I know). If we would just listen to our wives and girlfriends, rather than our televisions, we might finally put all of this behind us and, best of all, shutter the doors on the penis pump industry once and for all.

Conclusions

Guys, we’re fine. Take it easy. Women would much rather have an attentive lover with an average penis than an inattentive asshole with a donkey dick. If you’re worried about your sexual prowess, focus on your biggest sexual organ, your mind. It sounds like bullshit, but it’s true.

Listen to your partner, both her words and her body language, keep communicating and learn to use your mind to both connect with your lover and to enhance your own pleasure. If you enjoy it more, she will too.

But the biggest thing to gain from all of this is one word: Relax. If you have an abnormally small penis, say under four inches, then perhaps you should look at medical procedures to add some length. But the number of men that applies to is almost statistically insignificant.

Be happy with your size, be proud of who you are. I’m pretty sure your wife is.