The Dating Couple

These days it’s something of a fad to make “death lists” or a list of things to do before you die. All over the world people are writing about seeing the pyramids in Egypt, boating in the Amazon River, writing their first novel or whatever else floats their boat.

Never one to shy away from a morbid trend, I’ve decided to create my own, sort of. But rather than write tomes about things I’ll probably never do no matter what list I put it on, I’ve decided to be just a wee little bit more practical and make a list of the sexual things I haven’t done but want to do before I take the long dirt nap.

So, without further ado, here’s my (abbreviated) list of sexual things I want to do before I die…

The (Practical) List

1. Get Anal to Work: We’ve tried it several times, but no matter how slow or how well lubed we take it, it always hurts one of us. Though Crystal has had anal before, with her ex-boyfriend, he was apparently much smaller. It may just wind up being a limitation to my penis size.
2. Participate in an Orgy: We’ve been invited and had the opportunity at our sex club but haven’t done it. Didn’t like the crowd that much honestly. Still, I would like to do it some time.
3. Play in a Grope Cage: I’ve been obsessed with this idea since I saw in on Real Sex as a teenager. It’s a box where people can reach in from the outside, without seeing what’s on the inside, and grope random strangers. Had an opportunity to do this in Columbia, SC but we were both sick with the flu. Looking forward to another chance.
4. Get an Escort/Go to a Brothel: I’m not big on prostitution really, but I don’t have a moral problem with it either. Still, I would like to go to a place where prostitution is legal (Nevada, Amsterdam, etc.) and partake just once, mostly for the experience. It would have to be a high-class establishment though.
5. Sex in Public: Ok, technically we’ve done this before at the sex club, but I’m speaking more about a setting where it isn’t expected. I’ve come very close to this countless times, but I would still like to go all the way in a nightclub, concert or some crowded public place.
6. Find a Sex Toy for Me: Crystal literally has dozens of sex toys including, rabbits, vibrators, double dildos, clit eggs, vibrating cock rings (for me to wear) and much more. We have a sleepover bag full of “surprises” we take when we see girlfriends. We’ve probably spent nearly $1000 dollars on stuff for her. For me, I have a pocket pussy that doesn’t really fit and a mitt that doesn’t really work. They’re nice and they’re fun, but I’d still like something for me that I really enjoyed.
7. Drunk Sex: Another one just for the experience. The problem here is that I’ve never truly been drunk. I hate the feeling of losing control and I stop drinking well before I go too far. It’d be nice just once to cut loose and see what happens. I doubt it would really be any good though.

The (You’re Kidding Right?) List

While I’m spouting off lists, here’s a short one that would be nice and certainly would be fun, but are about as likely as me having an anal sex orgy with a bunch of aliens (great image there).

1. Have Sex with a Real Doll: I don’t really want to have sex with a Real Doll, I just want to see what the Hell makes them worth $7000.
2. An Evening Alone with Joan Jett (and Perhaps Carmen Elektra): Reasons for this are already established.
3. The MidPhase Orgy: Nina, TheButterflyTemptress, I’m looking at you two with this one…
4. “Traveling” Around the World: In college I joked that I was going to travel around the world in my bedroom, sleeping with at least one woman from each continent. I can see that Australia will be a problem..
5. Go Back in Time: Go back in time, return as a high schooler and actually have some fun with my teenage years. I was definitely a late bloomer…

Checked Off

Finally, here are few things that would be on the list but I can now say “Been there. Done that.”

1. Sex with Two Women: Duh.
2. Sex with a Porn Star: We did it in Key West, I Wasn’t impressed.
3. Sex in a Jacuzzi: Threesome in Jacuzzi, very fun.
4. Sex in a Church Yard: I take the fifth on all further questions.
5. Go to a Sex Club: Want to go back soon.
6. Get Whipped by a Professional Dom: Helps to be good friends with several doms.
7. Be Tied up and Tormented: Crystal + Girlfriend + Ropes + Blindfold + Four hours to kill = Very happy Jonathan.

Conclusions

So there you have it, my grand to-do list. Feel free to poke fun, make suggestions or add your own. Any advice is always appreciated (as is any other help, especially with achieving the items on the list).

Overall, I feel very good about the sex life I’ve had up to now. I’m 26 and I feel as if I’ve done a lot. Still, there’s a lot left to do and I’m looking forward to getting on it.

After all, it’s not completing the list that’s the best part, it’s the journey to get there!