The Dating Couple

We stayed in last night. There was nothing going on in the city that really enticed us, the place was a wreck (so bringing someone home was out of the question) and a girl that we had been interested in, at least as a friend, had pretty much jilted us the night before.

To top it off though, I’ve been feeling rather down lately, stressed out by my current job situation, house hunting and everything else going on. I’ve been feeling about as unsexual and unsexy as humanly
possible.

Crystal, however, has been wonderful through it all. Last night she poured me a very tall and very strong Crown & Coke and we stayed up late watching campy science fiction, namely Star Trek and The Outer Limits. Cheesy, but fun.

Still, some sex things have been on my mind lately, consider the following…

The Great Condom Debate

I’ve had unprotected sex with exactly three people. My ex before Crystal, Crystal herself and our last, long-term girlfriend.

Each of those cases have two things in common. One, there was almost zero chance of pregnancy, either due to other forms of birth control or infertility, and two both were long-term relationships that had been established and ongoing for some time before the first unprotected act. When you compare that number to the women I’ve been with protected, it’s a pretty special thing, a sign of serious commitment. Too bad at least one of the women didn’t see it that way.

So when AAG posted about a guy insisting that he not use a condom on the run up to his first potential romp with her, I was a bit floored. Not that she insisted on the sheath, but that somewhere there was an idiot still playing the “you gotta trust me” angle to try and dodge the need. It makes me sick and that puts it very mildly.

Any idiot knows that the protection a condom provides works both ways and that you are literally playing russian roulette when you don’t use one. I guess that’s not enough self-interest for these men, they have to take their selfishness to a whole new level and worry only about the pleasure they might lose and, in the process, endanger both them AND their partner. It isn’t just selfish, it is short-sighted and shows a complete lack of compassion for ones potential partner.

Still, for those men that still think that way, here are a few things that I’ve discovered about condoms in my usage of them over the years:

1. Thin is In: If you buy a thin condom, put it on and use it, you’ll probably forget that it’s even there in a few minutes. If you’re good and hard, your partner wet and tight and you lube up properly, you’ll probably even forget your wearing it until after you cum and pull out.
2. Clean up is a Snap: Ok, I have to confess this one, I’m known for huge loads. My ex before Crystal used to accuse me of trying to get her pregnant with sextuplets and used the word “gallons” regularly in my presence. Our last girlfriend was literally stunned, and a bit grossed out, by the volume the first time she felt me cum without a condom. Condoms simplify cleanup, it is that simple. Unwrap and toss. Less washing up afterward.
3. Thicker For More Staying Power: Got a problem finishing too early? Can I recommend a plain Trojan Condom unlubricated? My third visit with Crystal we ran trough the box of condoms I brought (24 condoms in about 36 hours, fun weekend) so we ran to the nearby pharmacy to pick up more (another story in and of itself). All they had available was the red box Trojans, which were MUCH thicker than what I was used to. The result was that our next romp lasted well over two hours. Granted, I truly did lose sensation and ended up only coming when she stroked me off, but she was definitely satisfied at that point, no doubt about it.
4. Easier Assembly: On her site, AAG mentioned the Pronto Condoms, for easy dressing (after my joking comment to the post). As cool as they are, those are only available in South Africa right now. Until those make it here, I favor the Lifestyles Sensation Disks. Easy open, always right side up and very thin condoms. Ideal for trying to do all of this in the dark.
5. We’re All Adults Here: However, the biggest thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve never had a woman get upset about me putting a condom on. Most didn’t even notice or mention it. It’s just part of the game. Our recent ex did wonder aloud why we were doing it, but no one has recoiled. We’re all adults. No one has been offended or upset by it. It anyone were, I’d strongly question them both as a long-term partner and a partner for the night. On that note, I’ve known many women, like AAG, that WILL recoil if you DON’T put on a condom. In short, if you want to get laid at all, wear it. The risk of getting shot down is much greater if you don’t than if you do.

Personally, I’ve never had a problem with condoms. I have a box of them under my desk, several in our nightstand and a Crystal keeps a few in her purse when we go out. We don’t use them ourselves (though we did for nearly a year) but we’re always prepared.

It’s just the smart thing to do.

A Little French Film Called “Romance”

Years ago, when I lived in Columbia, SC, my apartment was across the street from the local independent theater. That meant that I, a broke college student, practically lived there soaking up all kinds of strange, interesting and intellectual movies.

One of those movies was a French film called Romance. I had largely forgotten about the film but a recent appearance on filmsite.org’s Most Controversial List got me thinking about it anew.

The plot is pretty basic. It follows a teacher named Marie who is, depending on who’s covering it, either sexually unfulfilled or an outright nymphomaniac and goes on a wild sex romp with many different partners in graphic detail.

How graphic is the film? It treads the line between art and pornography very delicately. It has graphic sex, both oral and vaginal, close ups of ejaculation and a very brutal “rape” fantasy sequence. However, the whole thing is shot and filmed in a manner that comes across as distant and cold. It’s brutal, honest and real, but it’s pretty clear the goal was not simply to arouse.

The goal of the film, instead, was to explore female sexuality. Though there’s no mention of bisexuality at any point, at least none that I can recall (it has been several years), it is an interesting glimpse into at least one woman’s views on sex and love.

However, this film was also one of my greatest disappointments. After loving the unrated version, I rented a copy of it to show to Crystal. However, when we sat down to watch it, we discovered it was the version cut to earn the “R” rating.

To call it a travesty would be putting it lightly. The cuts were so artificial it was sad. One scene, where Marie was giving a blow job to her boyfriend, they simply zoomed the camera in on her eyes, shying away completely from what she was doing. It felt so wrong that I had to shut it off.

Fortunately, I just found the unrated version on Amazon. I know someone who’s making a purchase today. I’m looking forward to seeing it again.