The Dating Couple

It was over six years ago when Crystal came home from work and, as usual, asked me what I had done during the day. I, with absolutely nothing exciting to offer, threw out a bit of sarcasm and said the most outrageous thing I could think of, “I spent all day sleeping with my Asian schoolgirl”.

Crystal pursed her lips together, trying not to laugh at my stupid joke, “Oh yeah, what’s her name?” she asked with a bit of a smirk.

I pride myself on being witty and quick on my feet. I’m always the first with a smart retort or a sarcastic comment but I was already stifling giggles. The “master bullshitter” was almost humbled.

“Ming Li,” I said, “Her name is Ming Li.”

With that, we both busted out laughing and enjoyed the moment. However, little did we know that an inside joke and, worse yet, a running gag had been born.

Continue reading ‘In Honor of Ming Li’

For a long time, I’ve been looking for a good mini-bullet. I had one once, but used it until it broke. I like the minis because they give more direct vibration.

However, my search for the perfect vibrator has been very frustrating. I’ll buy something that looks like it will work, only to be let down when it’s either too bulky or not powerful enough.

As Jonathan mentioned yesterday, our air has been out and there has been somewhat of a revival in oral sex because even though I have nothing against getting hot and sweaty, I find it hard to keep going in ninety degree heat.

So, this brings me to the perfect vibrator. Every once in a while when Jonathan was going down on me, he would say something and the vibrations would travel through me. I told him at some point, we would have to try it in all seriousness and try it we did.

Last night, Jonathan surprised me. He lightly pulled my clit between his lips and started to hum. When the pitch changed, the vibrations changed. When he sped up or slowed down, it changed. It was in a word incredible.

No worrying about batteries. No fooling with inadequate equipment. No pulling the chord out of the damn egg (the fate of my first and only satisfying bullet). Just a nice and natural solution.

So guys, if you haven’t tried this on your lady, try it to night. You both might just be surprised at the reactions you get. However, I would stay to simple tone humming rather than songs, especially Manamanah.

Or rather, the air is off.

Our beloved air conditioner took a nose dive on us Wednesday. It blows air but it doesn’t cool. It probably needs a recharge or just a good servicing, but with less than two weeks to go in our rental unit, it almost seems to be a waste of time to get it fixed, especially since our landlord probably won’t get anyone out until well after we’re gone.

So now we’re suffering. It’s New Orleans in May. The air is humid, the temperature is high and we have all of our fans going full tilt. This is not the way we wanted to spend our last days in this house but it seems to be the way it’s going down.

Continue reading ‘The Heat Is On…’

As I mentioned before, I’m not a small woman. However, I wouldn’t look right really thin either. Coming to that conclusion and being comfortable with my size has taken a long time. Yes, there are still days that I wish I were lighter but they are much fewer and farther between than in the past.

I first started having problems with my weight in middle school. I had abnormal periods and was put on birth control. I think that that was the start of the screwing up of my metabolism. After starting the pill I gained a little weight. I was a size 16 and was picked on by all the kids in school not only for my size, but also my anti-social nature.

Continue reading ‘Weight Battle’

Time has been short lately.

Between the new house, job issues and everything else that has been going on, we haven’t had much time left to go out, meet people and, hopefully, get introduced to our next girlfriend. Both the time and energy have been lacking to have our usual adventures.

Sure, we’ve been having a lot of fun just the two of us, but we still wish we could get out there more. Our lives, however, are kind of on hold until the new house is bought and moved in to. Until then, we’re floating around in limbo.

To counter that, we’ve been debating another idea, posting an ad on Craigslist and seeing if we can somehow fit dating back into our schedule.

Continue reading ‘Craiglsist… Or Not’