The Dating Couple

As I mentioned before, I’m not a small woman. However, I wouldn’t look right really thin either. Coming to that conclusion and being comfortable with my size has taken a long time. Yes, there are still days that I wish I were lighter but they are much fewer and farther between than in the past.

I first started having problems with my weight in middle school. I had abnormal periods and was put on birth control. I think that that was the start of the screwing up of my metabolism. After starting the pill I gained a little weight. I was a size 16 and was picked on by all the kids in school not only for my size, but also my anti-social nature.

Then there was a boy, isn’t that the way a lot of these stories start? I overheard him telling his friend that he wouldn’t date me because “She’s two sizes too big.” So, for the most wrong reason I can think of, I decided to try to lose weight. I was big into science and knew that bears when they hibernate live off of their body fat. Even though I wasn’t going to be sleeping through the winter, I decided that I could live off my fat and did not need to eat.

To fool mom, I did eat one piece of toast in the morning and nothing the rest of the day. I would tell her I had a big lunch at school and that I wasn’t hungry at dinner. She wasn’t fooled for long.

She started bringing home fudge and other goodies to try to entice me to eat. By this point, I had lost 30 pounds in a matter of weeks. Finally, she sat me down and told me that if I didn’t start eating she was going to put me in a hospital where they would feed me through a tube. The sad thing is that I took the threat to heart, but not for the reason she or you might think. I didn’t want someone feeding me thousands of calories and fat through a tube without me knowing what was being put in me.

So, I started eating again. However, I limited my fat gram intake to 14 grams of fat a day and made sure nothing I ate had loads of calories. I stayed on this diet and a size 12 for four years. Yes, even after starving myself for almost two months I never broke the single digit barrier. I was still teased for being big and the boy didn’t even notice.

So, that was the second step to messing up my metabolism. Previous to this stunt, I had been a size 14 and 175 pounds. My body had done a pretty good job keeping me at this weight. After I started eating again, I gained a lot of weight.

Other things to note about the downsides of not eating:

• My hair was falling out and had lost it’s luster
• I was weak and struggled even more in gym class
• I couldn’t stay awake / I was tired all the time
• My body lost muscle, not fat.

That was my lowest point in the battle with my weight. Since then, I have often tried various diet and exercise programs with moderate success. For example, I’ve lost 30 pounds since August 2006 just trying to make better choices of how much and what I eat. I also only drink diet drinks and water now.

When I graduated college, I was down to a size 16 again and under 200 pounds. However, when I moved in with Jonathan, I started birth control for the second time in my life. I quickly gained 25 pounds. Other than right after Katrina when I gained sixty pounds (thirty of which I’ve lost), I’ve pretty much stayed at 225. I would like to be 200 again, or 199. However, without giving up some things that I enjoy, I don’t see that happening any time soon.

Also, I get compliments all the time on my body from men and women. Most of my weight is in my ass and people always want to slap it or take pictures of it. Yes, they do stop me on the street to do so. Granted it’s Bourbon St. and pretty much anything goes there.

At this point, I honestly don’t think I would get as many compliments if I were to lose a lot of weight. I’m fine, just the way I am and I think more of society is beginning to realize it.