It was over six years ago when Crystal came home from work and, as usual, asked me what I had done during the day. I, with absolutely nothing exciting to offer, threw out a bit of sarcasm and said the most outrageous thing I could think of, “I spent all day sleeping with my Asian schoolgirl”.
Crystal pursed her lips together, trying not to laugh at my stupid joke, “Oh yeah, what’s her name?” she asked with a bit of a smirk.
I pride myself on being witty and quick on my feet. I’m always the first with a smart retort or a sarcastic comment but I was already stifling giggles. The “master bullshitter” was almost humbled.
“Ming Li,” I said, “Her name is Ming Li.”
With that, we both busted out laughing and enjoyed the moment. However, little did we know that an inside joke and, worse yet, a running gag had been born.
Ming Li was not pulled out of thin air, behind her, as with most good lies, is a kernel of truth. I do have a very strong attraction to Asian women and my fetish for schoolgirl skirts is well known. Ming Li, if real, would definitely be a fantasy come true for me.
However, even though she is based upon a very real fantasy (and more than a few pornos), she is a very fake person.
The Evolution of Ming Li
Ming Li started out as a schoolgirl. Over the weeks and months that followed my outburst, I began to spin an elaborate story around her.
She was, at that time, an exchange student at the college studying English. Supposedly I had met her in one of my journalism classes and we had hooked up there.
Later on, Crystal began to take her over and Ming Li was a model photo shoots for Crystal. She also, during this time, did a lot of nude posing for paintings as well.
Back and forth it has gone over the years, she’s been an editor, a scientist, a massage therapist and much more. Most recently, she’s been a secretary for me with my consulting business. The only things that have remained consistent over the years are A) Her amazing speed, able to be done with sex in just a few minutes or even seconds and B) Her inhuman skill and ability to please members of both sexes.
Yes, she’s an amazing woman, especially for someone who isn’t real. However, despite being a figment of our imaginations, she’s had a very real impact on our relationship and, unlike most mistresses, her impact has been for the better.
A Much-Needed Laugh
Ming Li’s role in our relationship has been to keep things lighthearted between us. Sex can be deadly serious at time, especially when things aren’t clicking, but it’s hard to be too upset when you’re “fighting” over an imaginary Asian schoolgirl.
For example, whenever one of us is not in the mood one night, the other simply says, “That’s fine, I’ll just call Ming Li tomorrow.” Inevitably, the fear of not being up to snuff gives way to laughter and, with laughter often comes romance.
It’s hard to feel bad about disappointing a loved one when he or she is cracking jokes. Take away the disappointment, take away the pressure and it’s easier to get in the mood.
It seems strange to think that a fake mistress can actually help us with real sex, but she does. Not only does she relax us and keep us smiling, but that laughter assures us both that there are no real mistresses waiting in the wings and that everything is on the up and up.
After all, it’s hard to joke about something you feel guilty about.
Thank You Ms. Li
Even today the tale of Ming Li grows. With every step the story gets more outrageous, more unbelievable and more fun. She’s given us much to smile about and yet another joke to call our own.
She may not be real, but she is a very special part of our relationship nonetheless. A silent partner that always keeps us smiling (and at least a little aroused).
Ming Li, I don’t know what we would do without you…
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