The Dating Couple

It was over six years ago when Crystal came home from work and, as usual, asked me what I had done during the day. I, with absolutely nothing exciting to offer, threw out a bit of sarcasm and said the most outrageous thing I could think of, “I spent all day sleeping with my Asian schoolgirl”.

Crystal pursed her lips together, trying not to laugh at my stupid joke, “Oh yeah, what’s her name?” she asked with a bit of a smirk.

I pride myself on being witty and quick on my feet. I’m always the first with a smart retort or a sarcastic comment but I was already stifling giggles. The “master bullshitter” was almost humbled.

“Ming Li,” I said, “Her name is Ming Li.”

With that, we both busted out laughing and enjoyed the moment. However, little did we know that an inside joke and, worse yet, a running gag had been born.

Continue reading ‘In Honor of Ming Li’

Or rather, the air is off.

Our beloved air conditioner took a nose dive on us Wednesday. It blows air but it doesn’t cool. It probably needs a recharge or just a good servicing, but with less than two weeks to go in our rental unit, it almost seems to be a waste of time to get it fixed, especially since our landlord probably won’t get anyone out until well after we’re gone.

So now we’re suffering. It’s New Orleans in May. The air is humid, the temperature is high and we have all of our fans going full tilt. This is not the way we wanted to spend our last days in this house but it seems to be the way it’s going down.

Continue reading ‘The Heat Is On…’

Time has been short lately.

Between the new house, job issues and everything else that has been going on, we haven’t had much time left to go out, meet people and, hopefully, get introduced to our next girlfriend. Both the time and energy have been lacking to have our usual adventures.

Sure, we’ve been having a lot of fun just the two of us, but we still wish we could get out there more. Our lives, however, are kind of on hold until the new house is bought and moved in to. Until then, we’re floating around in limbo.

To counter that, we’ve been debating another idea, posting an ad on Craigslist and seeing if we can somehow fit dating back into our schedule.

Continue reading ‘Craiglsist… Or Not’

Highway 49 is a desolate Louisiana Highway. It stretches north to south through the state, starting up in Shreveport, cutting through Alexandria and down to Lafayette.

It travels through some of the loneliest parts of the state and, especially at night. It’s primarily used by truckers, who need to get their goods from the port in New Orleans up to Dallas or other points north. This means that, on weekends, it can be especially dull.

The most barren stretch is between Opelousas and Alexandria, a seventy-mile stretch with no towns, just woods, farms and marsh.

It was there that Crystal and I found ourselves late Friday night. We were heading north toward her parents’ house and we were bored. Crystal was driving, as she usually does the second leg of the trip, and we were both tired, the conversation had slowed and the music was uninspiring.

I looked over to her after checking my mail on my cell phone, “What do you want to do to pass the time?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, “But you could always masturbate.”

Continue reading ‘Stroking At 70 Miles Per Hour’

As Jonathan and I were walking around our neighborhood last week, looking at houses, a car drove past. Nothing unusual about that, however what was unusual was that a girl yelled out “Nice Ass” to me.

I’ve gotten many compliments on my posterior before. It wasn’t anything new. However, it did take me by surprise that a girl would so brazenly yell out her appreciation. Unfortunately, she was driving too fast. By the time the her cat call reached my ears and registered in my brain, she was gone.

I walked back to the edge of the street and looked after the car, but to no avail.

I have to wonder what would have happened if she had slowed down to see if I would stop and turn around. I have to wonder had she somehow known that Jonathan and I date girls, if she would have gotten out of the car to compliment me. I have to wonder, who she was and if she thought about my ass while masturbating that night.

I wish that she would have stopped. I wish that women would have the courage to come up to me and be so direct. And, I wish that I could be just as direct back.

I think that, as women, we’re taught to be sensitive to other women’s feelings. We’re taught to not talk like guys to other women. We’re taught to play games and not to be straight forward about how we feel or what we want. Even though this woman in the car was blunt, she was still playing a game because if she had truly not cared about what I would think, she would have stopped the car. She would have gotten out and she would have told me to my face/ass what she thought of me.

I wish she had. We might have made a new friend from the experience, and she? Well, she would have had a great time I’m sure.

We have a new love in our life, it’s a cozy 1000-square foot home in an upscale part of town. We fell in love with her at first sight. She had her flaws, a hideous teal paint job on her interior, a few bad outlets and a cracked pane of glass to name a few, but she’s a sturdy, capable partner.

Sadly though, she is something of a prostitute and not a cheap one at that. Getting into her will be an expensive process and, worse still, she keeps us out until well past dusk signing papers, chasing realtors and learning a new language (mortgage-speak).

These are confusing, nerve-racking but exciting times for us. We’re settling finances, planning for the future and wondering when the damn inspector can get by. It also means pinching some pennies right now and trying to come up with the down payments.

We’re very happy but it does mean that posts might be a bit scarce for a few days while we dig ourselves out from under the paperwork.  When it’s all said and done we will, hopefully, have a new place to call our own (it will be our first home that we own) and a great “bachelor pad” of sorts.

Yeah, we’re devising evil plans for the spare room… Stay tuned.

We stayed in last night. There was nothing going on in the city that really enticed us, the place was a wreck (so bringing someone home was out of the question) and a girl that we had been interested in, at least as a friend, had pretty much jilted us the night before.

To top it off though, I’ve been feeling rather down lately, stressed out by my current job situation, house hunting and everything else going on. I’ve been feeling about as unsexual and unsexy as humanly
possible.

Crystal, however, has been wonderful through it all. Last night she poured me a very tall and very strong Crown & Coke and we stayed up late watching campy science fiction, namely Star Trek and The Outer Limits. Cheesy, but fun.

Still, some sex things have been on my mind lately, consider the following…

Continue reading ‘Crown with Coke, The Condom Debate and Romance’

My boss is out of town for the next few days and I’m already feeling better. I like her well enough, but all the stress of this past week really did a number on me. I’m glad that the week is almost over.

In big news, Jonathan and I are looking for a house. So, if the posts are a little later than usual, I apologize. We’ve seen a couple of houses including one really cute one today and it has a lot of cute girls in the neighborhood, always a plus. It’s small, but it might work out to be our best bet.  We’ve been looking for a house for a very long time now, but now it seems a little more possible to find something.

In other news, we’re heading out tonight to go to the bar where one of the burlesque dancer works a couple of nights a week. She told us she’d be there tonight. So, we’re going to go and stop in to see her. Perhaps I’ll be able to nail down an appointment with her to sit for me.  If she does, maybe I can put some of the photos on here for you all to see.

I’m in much better spirits now and apologize for being such a downer lately. I’m looking forward to screwing Jonathan’s brains out after we get back in, or perhaps getting oral from him. I am feeling a little selfish this evening.

Maybe I’ll work on my next post about his oral skills. He’s bragged so much about mine, but ladies he’s not one to shy away from a good pussy licking. Not to mention that he’s had seven years of training/perfecting his technique.

On the other hand though, there is his lovely cock which would feel really good pounding away inside my tight, wet, throbbing  cunt. Hell, maybe I’ll just take both.

Well, this is actually the second time I’ve started writing this post, just a hint to how my day has been going. I’ve been really stressed out lately, mainly because of the new job, and it’s been causing a constant pain through my neck and shoulder. It’s either that, or my hair is too long and I need to get it cut again. I do have very thick hair and whenever it gets too long it causes neck pain.

However, I think this is more from stress. Like I said, I started this post earlier on my new phone Jonathan mentioned yesterday. I thought it would be cool to do a full post from it. However, when I went back into the site after House went off, the post was gone.

Continue reading ‘What a day…’

I’m not a suave guy by any stretch. I don’t know any great pick up lines. I am, at best, a mediocre flirt and I’m terrible with small talk.

However, I am pretty good at reading people, finding common ground and striking up a conversation. I generally can study someone for a few moments, swoop in, engage them in conversation and, if nothing else, get a few minutes of upbeat chatter from them.

It isn’t much, I know, but it’s a sharp contrast to who I was, an awkward geek that felt out of place even saying hello. The fact that I can engage strangers with ease is a huge advancement.

Sadly, I don’t get to exploit that ability much. At least not to the end of meeting new girls, Though it might do wonders for me if I were single, as half of a couple, it does me almost no good.
Continue reading ‘Attack… Or Not’