The Dating Couple

For a long time, I’ve been looking for a good mini-bullet. I had one once, but used it until it broke. I like the minis because they give more direct vibration.

However, my search for the perfect vibrator has been very frustrating. I’ll buy something that looks like it will work, only to be let down when it’s either too bulky or not powerful enough.

As Jonathan mentioned yesterday, our air has been out and there has been somewhat of a revival in oral sex because even though I have nothing against getting hot and sweaty, I find it hard to keep going in ninety degree heat.

So, this brings me to the perfect vibrator. Every once in a while when Jonathan was going down on me, he would say something and the vibrations would travel through me. I told him at some point, we would have to try it in all seriousness and try it we did.

Last night, Jonathan surprised me. He lightly pulled my clit between his lips and started to hum. When the pitch changed, the vibrations changed. When he sped up or slowed down, it changed. It was in a word incredible.

No worrying about batteries. No fooling with inadequate equipment. No pulling the chord out of the damn egg (the fate of my first and only satisfying bullet). Just a nice and natural solution.

So guys, if you haven’t tried this on your lady, try it to night. You both might just be surprised at the reactions you get. However, I would stay to simple tone humming rather than songs, especially Manamanah.

As I mentioned before, I’m not a small woman. However, I wouldn’t look right really thin either. Coming to that conclusion and being comfortable with my size has taken a long time. Yes, there are still days that I wish I were lighter but they are much fewer and farther between than in the past.

I first started having problems with my weight in middle school. I had abnormal periods and was put on birth control. I think that that was the start of the screwing up of my metabolism. After starting the pill I gained a little weight. I was a size 16 and was picked on by all the kids in school not only for my size, but also my anti-social nature.

Continue reading ‘Weight Battle’

Time has been short lately.

Between the new house, job issues and everything else that has been going on, we haven’t had much time left to go out, meet people and, hopefully, get introduced to our next girlfriend. Both the time and energy have been lacking to have our usual adventures.

Sure, we’ve been having a lot of fun just the two of us, but we still wish we could get out there more. Our lives, however, are kind of on hold until the new house is bought and moved in to. Until then, we’re floating around in limbo.

To counter that, we’ve been debating another idea, posting an ad on Craigslist and seeing if we can somehow fit dating back into our schedule.

Continue reading ‘Craiglsist… Or Not’

While driving around earlier today, we were behind a police officer for about a mile. This is no big deal, he was going the same way we were, but then suddenly turned off. I realized that it was because he had reached the Jefferson/Orleans Parish lines but what if that hadn’t been the reason?

What if, we made him nervous and he decided to turn because of us. I posed the simple question to Jonathan “Do you ever wonder if cops get nervous when we follow them like we do when they follow us?” He thought for a moment and then his eyes lit up. “I want to try it” is all he said.

So, the rest of the ride home was devising how we would do it. First, we would need to get a very recognizable car, think traffic cone orange. Then we would need to spot a cop and just start following him around for a little while. Finally, we could record our little experiment and document the cops reactions.

There was some silliness about if they tried to pull us, following them and telling them that we were following them first. Think, Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd running in circles around a tree. We had a good laugh and continued home.

Continue reading ‘Conversations’

After a long hard day at work, we went by the house we plan on buying. Today was its inspection day and it passed fairly well. There are a few concerns, but nothing major. So, tomorrow I will send off the check for the appraisal.

When we left the house, we headed to one of our favorite local restaurants, Cafe Rendezvous. It’s a great place to go and relax, not to mention we have become fairly good friends with the daytime manager, J.

Tonight, J came and sat at our table and asked her to come up with some drinks to put on the sign out front. We came up with quite a few and laughed and acted shocked at some of the names. She joked about asking a male bartender for a “screaming orgasm” and a few other names.

She then told us about an incident with the sign. Now, you have to understand that J is Spanish and though she speaks English very well, she doesn’t always spell it very well nor does she understand every word of American slang. The cafe is on a very busy intersection and she has mentioned many times people stopping in to let them know of a misspelling.

However, this wasn’t her usual tale of misspellings. Here’s what happened: J had asked one of the girls to go and change the sign because she couldn’t be pulled away from work at that moment. Four hours later, J had to go to her car for something. On the way back, a couple leaving the restaurant were giggling.

The man said “Honey, if I knew they were serving that, I might have ordered it for you.” Then they both started laughing.

Curious, J went over to check the sign. Instead of reading “steak and cocktails” it read “steak and cock.” Unfortunately, the tale doesn’t end there.

J never hearing the term cock before (I couldn’t believe it either) went inside and started asking customers what the strange word meant.

Finally, one of the waitresses told J that she just couldn’t go around asking people about that word.

J responded “Why not it’s on the sign.”

After it was explained to her J couldn’t believe that the other girl would put that on the sign.

The waitresses excuse? “I couldn’t make cocktail fit.”

So, after a long hard day, hanging out with a cute Spanish woman (who always hugs and makes physical contact with me) and hearing a funny story at the end of the day made the evening a little brighter. It was the perfect choice for dinner tonight.

Right after our first threesome, I was in a state of pure bliss. Not only had I just had some of the most incredible sex of my life, but I was in bed with two very beautiful, smiling women.

We were all exhausted. Orgasms had been traded back and forth for hours on end and, though it was only mid-afternoon, we felt like we needed a good night’s rest. After we cleaned up we all jumped back into the bed, still nude, and began to cuddle, softly and affectionately.

It was, and still is, one of my favorite memories.

Continue reading ‘The Problem With Threesome Cuddling’

As Jonathan and I were walking around our neighborhood last week, looking at houses, a car drove past. Nothing unusual about that, however what was unusual was that a girl yelled out “Nice Ass” to me.

I’ve gotten many compliments on my posterior before. It wasn’t anything new. However, it did take me by surprise that a girl would so brazenly yell out her appreciation. Unfortunately, she was driving too fast. By the time the her cat call reached my ears and registered in my brain, she was gone.

I walked back to the edge of the street and looked after the car, but to no avail.

I have to wonder what would have happened if she had slowed down to see if I would stop and turn around. I have to wonder had she somehow known that Jonathan and I date girls, if she would have gotten out of the car to compliment me. I have to wonder, who she was and if she thought about my ass while masturbating that night.

I wish that she would have stopped. I wish that women would have the courage to come up to me and be so direct. And, I wish that I could be just as direct back.

I think that, as women, we’re taught to be sensitive to other women’s feelings. We’re taught to not talk like guys to other women. We’re taught to play games and not to be straight forward about how we feel or what we want. Even though this woman in the car was blunt, she was still playing a game because if she had truly not cared about what I would think, she would have stopped the car. She would have gotten out and she would have told me to my face/ass what she thought of me.

I wish she had. We might have made a new friend from the experience, and she? Well, she would have had a great time I’m sure.

We have a new love in our life, it’s a cozy 1000-square foot home in an upscale part of town. We fell in love with her at first sight. She had her flaws, a hideous teal paint job on her interior, a few bad outlets and a cracked pane of glass to name a few, but she’s a sturdy, capable partner.

Sadly though, she is something of a prostitute and not a cheap one at that. Getting into her will be an expensive process and, worse still, she keeps us out until well past dusk signing papers, chasing realtors and learning a new language (mortgage-speak).

These are confusing, nerve-racking but exciting times for us. We’re settling finances, planning for the future and wondering when the damn inspector can get by. It also means pinching some pennies right now and trying to come up with the down payments.

We’re very happy but it does mean that posts might be a bit scarce for a few days while we dig ourselves out from under the paperwork.  When it’s all said and done we will, hopefully, have a new place to call our own (it will be our first home that we own) and a great “bachelor pad” of sorts.

Yeah, we’re devising evil plans for the spare room… Stay tuned.

We stayed in last night. There was nothing going on in the city that really enticed us, the place was a wreck (so bringing someone home was out of the question) and a girl that we had been interested in, at least as a friend, had pretty much jilted us the night before.

To top it off though, I’ve been feeling rather down lately, stressed out by my current job situation, house hunting and everything else going on. I’ve been feeling about as unsexual and unsexy as humanly
possible.

Crystal, however, has been wonderful through it all. Last night she poured me a very tall and very strong Crown & Coke and we stayed up late watching campy science fiction, namely Star Trek and The Outer Limits. Cheesy, but fun.

Still, some sex things have been on my mind lately, consider the following…

Continue reading ‘Crown with Coke, The Condom Debate and Romance’

On the whole, Crystal and I are about as sexually compatible as two people can get. Our libidos match, we like most of the same things (including our taste in women), we enjoy the same porn and, even after seven years, are still very attracted to one another.

Sure, we go through periods where we are out of sync, where we need some time alone or whatnot, but over all we seem to match up pretty well.

The one issue we do have is one with our internal clocks. I’m the most ready for action late in the evening, Crystal, on the other hand, is a morning person when it comes to sex.

In this regard, we couldn’t be farther apart…
Continue reading ‘Morning People’